Compiled by, Darlene G. Snyder
By Connie Coppings
Paintsville UMC
Paintsville,Ky.
"I don't want to be a pastor's wife, I'll never have friends." This is a comment I often hear from those going into ministry. It is a tough issue and one that needs much thought and prayer.
"Who can I be friends with in the church?" "Will I be seen as playing favorites if I spend more time with one person than another?" "Will I have to guard every word or live in fear that it will be spread through the congregation in minutes?" These are some of the questions I grappled with when I became a pastor's wife and I suspect I'm not alone in these thoughts.
Pastors' wives are like anyone else, they need a place to share their struggles in confidence. I am blessed with a wonderful husband, but am often hesitant to put more on him as he has so many other things on his mind. When he enters our home after a day of office work, hospital and home visits, along with the "crises" that arise daily, I try to have our home be a sanctuary for him. This is one of the ways I try to minister to him so that he can go out and do what he does everyday.
While he is the first person i would go to if there was something important on my heart, I know it is necessary for me to have other listening ears. One of the ways I've done this is by establishing relationships in the community or through my work. I always urge other pastors' wives to get involved in the town where they live by volunteering or being on committees. If you work outside the home, develop friendships there. For those who work from home, develop a network with other moms or women who have similar interests as yourself.
Whatever you do----don't try to go it alone. Having been in ministry for over 22 years, I can tell you that there are times where you will need an outlet beyond your spouse. Some places we've lived I've been blessed with other women who have have come along side me to listen and pray. There are other places we've lived where I didn't have that, but kept in touch with other women friends via the phone or computer.
Is this an issue that is important to you? How do you deal with it?
May God bless each of you with women who wil step out to be your spiritual support and a place where you can freely share your heart.
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God Bless Us, Every One!
4 months ago
2 comments:
My Husband surrendered to the Misintry about four years ago and was called to a little country church. It had only maybe 12 stable members coming every week, but before long the Lord was blessing and we had about 60 to 75 every sunday morning and evening. As a new Pastors wife I really had know one to turn to I talked to a Lady at the church whom I thought was a friend and soon everything was all turned around and who I thought where friends and sisters in Christ, well needless to say the Devil made His way in. My husband fought hard but there was a certain group that the Devil had a hold of to where this one Lady told me that I needed to tell my husband He needed to change the way he was preaching because it was not getting through, and she was one of the one's he was preaching to. Well me and my out spokenness which gets me in trouble at times asked her if she tells her Husband how to take a shower she sd well no and I said that when my Husband speaks to the Lord it is more private and important than that and I would not get in between what the Lord lays on his heart to preach about. Well the Lord called my Husband away from the church and the night that he resigned a lady meet me at the door and said maybe we can be friends know. That really hurt I thought we were friends. I truely mean this when I say I am here to listen to any woman that has a husband in the ministry because I know that at times things are hard but the Lord sd that it would not be easy but he would be with us. So I am here for anyone that would need to have someone to listen, talk to or even cry with. Your Sister in Christ Marlo
Marlo is myblessedone.blogspot.com
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