Parsonage Ponderings

Compiled by, Darlene G. Snyder


by Connie Coppings
Paintsville,Ky.

When does a pastor and their spouse experience Sabbath? Yes, we're in church every Sunday, but teaching, preaching, assisting with music, attending meetings and ministering to people in need often leave little time to experience restorative worship. Having just come back from a short vacation, I've thought about that several times. We've realized over the past 22 years that it is hard to give out to others when you feel depleted yourself.
I talk to other spouses in ministry and hear phrases such as, "I just can't keep a happy face on 24 hours a day." "My heart is so broken with all the sad things we hear about." "We're thinking about getting out of the ministry." "Does anyone care about our needs?"
Although ministry brings with it many joys, it can take a toll on one's life if you do not do things to feed and nourish your spirit. My husband and I love being in ministry, but we know that we cannot be all things to all people. We worry, get angry, have doubts, feel disappointed, but are sometimes met with such statements as, "I can't believe you think (feel) that way." "I guess I figured you all were so close to God that these things wouldn't happen to you." Wrong! Wrong! Wrong!
I can honestly say that there have been times when I wanted to walk away from people---and the church. Anyone who goes into ministry should not feel surprised---or guilty---for having those feelings. It comes with the job. So, it is vitally important to find ways to replenish your bodies and spirits.
Our Methodist conference offers free opportunities for pastors' families to take a break from the routine and "come apart" for some rest. There is also a Barnabas ministry that has seminars for those in ministry (you can look them up online). Some churches actively encourage their minister and family to take the time away as they realize the benefits not only for the pastor's family, but also for the church.
Even Jesus recognized the need for respites from ministering and often went to the lake or the mountains to do just that. Why should we think that we should do any less.
My husband and I sometimes just go where there are no phones, or where no one knows us. Just being out in nature quiets our hearts and minds, refreshing us to return to the work we love.
If you aren't presently taking "Sabbaths," then I encourage you to do so. What are creative ways you find to recharge your batteries so that you can serve God better?